StupidGuess what? I might as well hide my problems even more...I'll just bottle it up until I can't take no more. To keep from hurting Blake........I won't mention my problems. Blake... I don't want you to! My heart hurts...thanks, but that lesson is as useless as me...I'm just a big screw up.DON'T ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG!!!I'll just end up driving everyone off...
Talking to ParentsI talked to my parents about leaving the state to go to college. All I heard was freaking negative stuff about if I do. They say they aren't trying to discourage me from going to college, but they truly are.They don't know the true reason to why I wanna go...I wanna fresh start where I'm not labeled as an attention whore.I wanna be with Blake and that part they know.They don't know I still self harm...if I leave...then Blake could help me...I wanna go where I'm wanted.I don't know when the last time I had an actual friend overThey make me not even wanna do nothing with my life.I feel like they are saying I won't make it out there.They kept saying, "What if...""Like what if Blake got tired of you and wanted someone else?""What if he didn't want you no more?""What if he and you broke up?"All that made me nearly cry.I wanna show them what I'm made of... I definitely wanna show that prick that hates me that I'm not gonna sit there and waste away. I know what my parents think,
I need itGIVE me a blade so I can cut my body open!
Why Try =/I can't do nothing right.I got fussed at for closing a door.Why do I even bother. =/I need to cut, but I have no blade...I do everything wrong.I close a door, I get fussed at.I say something and I get fussed at...I'm a nobody.I'm worthless.I'm stupid.I'm a loser.I'm fat.I'm useless.
I had to pour my feelings out somewhereI'm a useless freak who feel unwanted by the world.I suck at being human.I hate my personality.I hate everything I've become.People treat me different. They judge me.They don't get it.I'm a hopeless loser who people hate with a passion.I wish I had my blade, but I threw it away.No one gives a crap on how I feel.Heather don't comment on this, I'm just fine. =\